On Processing Grief

As a lot of you know, especially if you follow along on Instagram, my great Aunt Doris unexpectedly passed away recently. It’s been a tough few weeks in our house and it just got me thinking about grief in general. My heart has been hurting so much, which made me think of how much pain others experience after losing someone they love – unexpected or not, which encouraged me to share a few thoughts on processing grief. I don’t think it’s something that’s talked about enough and I’d really love to normalize it a bit by contributing to the conversation.

First, I think it’s important to know that it’s OK to not be OK. And feeling that way looks different for everyone. For me, one minute I think I’m fine and I’m “moving past it” but then a wave of emotion hits me hard and all I can do is cry. I think it’s important to let yourself feel these emotions. My great Aunt Doris was someone I would typically lean on for support in times like this. She had such a way with words and knew how to make me feel better and knowing she’s no longer here to help me, makes me feel even more emotional.  But it seems like each time one of these waves comes, I’m a little bit stronger than the one before.

Here are a few things that have helped me and I hope they can help anyone else going through a loss as well.

Talking about it

Like I said at the beginning, grief isn’t talked about enough. I think people don’t know what to say so then maybe they just don’t say anything, but really I love to feel the support of everyone around me. I might not want to carry on a conversation, but even that small text from a friend saying they’re there for me, means everything. If I’ve learned anything from my situation, it’s that I don’t have to go through this alone. Thank God for Orvil because he has been my absolute rock through all of this. Hold your circle tight and talk to them – I guarantee they will listen.

Finding positive things to enjoy and look forward to

Unfortunately my great Aunt Doris’s passing happened around the same time as Harper’s birthday. At first, I thought this would make it harder to still enjoy the moment and have fun celebrating Harper, and it did, but it was also a blessing to have something so extremely positive to look forward to. I think we can carry a lot of guilt for continuing on with life and laughing and smiling when someone we love just died, but I know for certain Doris would never want me to feel that way. I try to find comfort in that and push myself to remember that she would want me to always remember her, but to also still find joy in life and move forward.

Trying to keep a normal routine

I know sometimes this isn’t possible, especially right after a loss, but I wanted to put it out there because it has helped me. I have had to take a bit of a step back with work to make sure I’m processing everything and not just shoving it aside, but trying to keep up with being active has honestly been a lifesaver. I’ve never been so thankful to finally have my Peloton because it’d been a Godsend to have during this time. Y’all know I also love to paint and that’s something I’m also trying to throw myself into right now. Having a creative outlet can work wonders on the heart and soul.

I know there’s no magic switch I or anyone else can flip to make the grief go away overnight, but I wanted to be honest and share some of what I’m going through here. Especially if anyone else is experiencing loss/grief as well – know that I’m thinking about you, praying for you and I’m sending you all the positivity and strength.

With lots of love,

Sarah xx